The concept of friendship, like many other concepts related to human relationships, unfortunately lacks consensus. For some, individuals labeled as friends are the most important people in their lives, while for others, they are just ordinary individuals. Some can write songs and poems in the name of friendship, while others use the term “Friend” as a parting word when addressing someone.
While enjoying a spa massage I chose from the Momento that Arman recently gifted me, I had the opportunity to think extensively about this subject with my eyes closed. I think I belong to the second group. In other words, I don’t attach deep meaning to the concept of friendship.
Everyone I somehow interact with in social relations falls into the category of friends for me. Therefore, I trust people more easily and welcome them into my life. Thus, I can also remove those who abuse this trust from my life at the speed of light. The situation doesn’t get too complicated, and the extent of the damage doesn’t grow this way.
“If you ask what will happen to friends for whom lives are sacrificed, sacrifices are made, deepest secrets are shared, you cry on their shoulders, and songs are written and sung for them?” Well, they hold a different status for me. I prefer to call them not friends but companions. I consider companions like the loves of our lives, coming into one’s life once every 10 years at a minimum, and being rare.
Throughout my life, there is usually only one of these people, and, just like in love affairs, two of them don’t walk side by side. Since the probability of encountering such a person in life is very low, when you find them, it is essential to appreciate their value. Even if you haven’t seen each other for years, when you meet again, you embrace them with the same enthusiasm. Standard workmate, travel companion, roommate, schoolmate, course mate, neighbor, virtual friend, and similar friends can never provide what companions offer, and you don’t open yourself to them as you would to a companion.
Relationships with them generally develop in common interests. You establish a dialogue and make benefit-oriented meetings. When you call each other, it is not out of longing or curiosity but to ask for something or to do something. Generally, mutual benefit is the most important principle in such friendships. Therefore, when the “benefit” that brings you together disappears, the friendship slowly ends, and you continue on your way. But in friendships, you make unconditional sacrifices for the other person. For some, these two concepts may interchange, but the people in your life are always divided into these two categories.
So far, I have had two people whom I called my companions in my life. Probably, I will meet a third one before I die. Whenever I ask myself, “Why do I call this person my companion? Why do I love them so much?” the answer I receive is usually the same. The common point I observe in all of them is that we have touched something in the deepest parts of ourselves, something hidden even from ourselves (emotion, thought, habit, pain, memory, etc.).
This can be one-sided or mutual. But the result never changes: Friends are like passengers passing through your life. But there is always someone inside you who stays: your companion.